Friday Fictioneers – Tuner

Image

Photo by Björn Rudberg

It’s cold here, I thought.
So after every song, I have to adjust my strings.
The guitar tends to go out of tune due to the temperature.

She said she doesn’t feel anything anymore.
So every time we saw each other, I tried something different.
Maybe I’d hit the mark and be in tune with her disposition

Strings get fragile too.
The loosening and stretching wear them down.
And with one slight turn, I broke a string.

I get fragile too.
The stretches I did wore me down.
And with that final empty look, I broke down.

I’m done here. I don’t want to play anymore.

 

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For more flash fictions based on this image, check here.

 

 

 

22 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Tuner

  1. Ooh nice analogy with the tuning of a guitar and the couple’s relationship. The image of the snapping string is very powerful. I like the alternate left-right formatting too. Good job!

    • Thanks Jessie! I was thinking how to show the dichotomy of the story’s two strands without breaking its fluidity. Hence, the format. And they both culminate with the final statement at the center. 🙂

  2. AS already mentioned, that was a well-chosen and executed metaphor. As someone who likes to play with formatting, I really liked how you set up your piece and it saved you many words.

    janet

  3. I like this. I like the analogy between’ instruments’ – guitar and body. You have me thinking of the parallels with the strings – there’s gut and guts – sinew. And it sounds like your musician’s love might have been stringing him along, which opens up the story to other possibilities. I like the lay out. It looks like strings and disjunction. 🙂

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